Monday, July 30, 2012
Cosmo Blog Awards.
I have some news and it's pretty ruddy terrific. I have been nominated in the lifestyle category of the Cosmo Blog Awards 2012, for this very blog, the one you are reading right now with your beautiful eyes.
It's just about the greatest thing in the world, don't you agree? But rather than just salute myself, say 'thanks for your vote' and move on, I thought I'd tell you a little story about my journey to this moment.
It all started when I discovered Mum's typewriter. I used to churn out a story a day and although I don't know if Mum kept the stacks of paper I piled up, I wouldn't blame her for fueling fires with them. They were, in hindsight, absolute drivel. My mind would wander and wander and my protagonist would not have any kind of disruption to their equilibrium, which needed resolving, possibly with added love interest. (Formula for all good stories. Think about it.)
Instead, my protagonist would just sort of do nothing, but I could write about him or her for pages and pages. Then I'd declare the story finished, shout: 'MUM! I HAVE FINISHED IT!' and chuck it at her. She would then painstakingly read it. (If I was the mother in this scenario, reading it would otherwise be known as sleeping) and tell me that it was another cracking story.
I grew up, I did, and honed the old story telling craft. Mostly by having the gift of the gab at parties and seeing which stories went down well and which ones bored the bejesus out of my audience. I used to start anecdotes about two years in time before the point of interest, until someone told me to know what was waffle and what was icing.
Then I got a new boyfriend, who I am now marrying. And the reason I am marrying him can be summed up by this: he bought me this here blog. He listened when I told him I liked writing but didn't have an outlet for it. He bought the blog, set me up, and away I went. That's the kind of guy I want to marry.
That was a few years ago now. I kept up the writing, and now, boom shakalaka, Cosmo have noticed my efforts. I am so thrilled that I had to take an afternoon off when I heard the news, just so I could spend four hours doing cartwheels and humping said boyfriend's leg, in an effort to not only show him my appreciation but also try and find a way to burn off all the pent up energy. I'd do much the same cartwheel slash hump regime if I won the lottery.
Who knows what will happen next. I'll probably win the Cosmo award, be invited to become a columnist, then the people who represent Caitlin Moran will call and ask me to write a book. 'Here's £100,000, upfront, you talented little sausage!' they'll say. Presumably.
Or I'll just carry on beavering away. Either way, the cartwheels have been turned now, the leg has been humped. I'm a very happy blogger.
Please keep reading, and tell your friends to too. And that bloke at the bus stop. And your boss. And feel free to blackmail them into voting for me. I absolutely endorse it.
Please do click the link below to vote for me - you have to enter your email address, then find me on the lifestyle page. I am Kim Willis, by the way. Forever in your debt.