And so it was, that I just saved our marriage.
Because, you see, Gareth was doing something that really, really annoyed me. Let me set the scene. It’s very romantic, I know, that we do a heck of a lot together. We work together, eat together, sleep together, scamper together... you get the idea. We go to the gym together. So, we run together, side by side, when the treadmills are available. Me on my treadmill, in my gym kit, with my headphones and my bottle of water.
And Gareth... without his bottle of water. Because he NEVER takes one with him.
Now, that’s fine, if you don’t want to hydrate while running, that’s up to you. But the problem was, he did want to hydrate. He was just totally useless at remembering this at any point leading up to the need for hydration. Unlike me, who had filled up my water bottle at home before even setting foot in the gym.
So Gaz gets parched and then he signals to me in the mirror that we're both running towards, that he’s thirsty. Not one to want to watch my future husband keel over and die, I hand over my water, begrudgingly, as it has exactly the amount of water in it that the length of my run requires. Gareth takes a long, refreshing glug and then he commits the cardinal sin - and this happens every time we run together, not just once - of putting my water bottle into his water bottle holder, the OTHER SIDE of his machine - way out of my reach. He then continues running, happy as larry, no idea how infuriated I am by his actions.
I run the rest of my run hating my future husband a little bit, which I don’t think is a particularly healthy way of entering into the sanctity of marriage.
I know what you’re thinking - share and share alike. What’s mine is his, what’s his is mine. Ask for the water back and get over it. Don’t be absurd, my personality is way too flawed and irate for that.
It took me a few months to come up with a solution. And on the way to coming up with a solution, there were plenty of plans that involved wee in my water.
Here’s the solution, proudly modeled by Gareth, now the proud owner of his own water bottle. I bought it on Amazon for £4. Not bad, eh? £4 to save a marriage? That’s a lot cheaper than a divorce.